Really, I don’t have a jealous bone in my body. Ask Sharon. She’ll tell you that she wishes I would be jealous sometimes when others heap affection on her or tell her how pretty she looks. I wish I could, but I’m not the jealous type. Never have been.
I guess it all dates back to my first encounter with a situation that could have involved jealousy. One night at a party in high school, I walked in on my girlfriend at the time kissing another guy. I guess I should have been upset and started yelling and screaming or – at the least – crying. Instead, I looked them and said “OK” and walked out. I didn’t really have any feeling about it whatsoever other than the feeling that this relationship was over. Believe it or not, I think that cool demeanor made her reconsider and ask for my forgiveness and we dated for another two months.
Being an emotional person by nature, I have never had that particular emotion. I guess because I just consider jealousy a waste of time and energy. I figure if you want something – or someone – you should find a way to get it rather than stewing over why you don’t have it.
Now, the title of this blog is “I don’t get jealous, but …” and that’s because I think I am experiencing a feeling of jealousy for the first time in a while. Every year, “Pittsburgh Magazine” features it’s “40 under 40”. It’s a photo essay of 40 local people who are making a difference in western Pennsylvania – and they are all under the age of 40. Since they first started doing the award a few years back, I always thought it would be cool to be included in that group – because that has always been my focus since joining Channel 4.
Well, this year’s list came out ( see the edition on newsstands now ) and I once again did not make the list. Now the only reason I feel somewhat jealous is that I turn 40 next year – so I will never be one of the “40 under 40”. Even one of my good friends made the cut! Of course, to make the “40 under 40”, you need to be nominated by someone – and I guess no one did but then again I did not ask anybody to speak on my behalf. I guess I just feel weird doing that.
I have won journalism awards, but this was one honor I was hoping to capture someday – and the fact I missed my last shot at the honor has brought out a feeling that I thought I didn’t have – jealousy. I guess we all have that bone in our bodies – whether we like to admit it or not.
Maybe I got a shot at “50 under 50”.