Two of my dearest friends, Mike and Kerri Evans, are having a baby. It will be their first and they could not be happier. I had a chance to talk to them about their first offspring while sitting around with them – and Mike’s mom – Saturday as Ohio State slammed Michigan.
While we were watching and talking – the subject turned from having the baby to naming the baby. As I quickly discovered, that may prove more difficult and trying than the actual delivery. Mike and Kerri say they have received suggestions from friends, close family and perfect strangers – and everyone has an opinion.
There are those who want to name the child ( for which Mike and Kerri do not want to know the gender of ) after a family member like an aunt or uncle. Others want to name the kid something trendy ( anybody remember the Seinfield episode where George Constanza wanted to name his friends’ kid “Seven” and then “Soda” ). Still others wanted something a bit more modern like “Olivia” or “Tyler”.
After about 20 minutes of hearing all the suggestions and the resulting controversy, I might just pass on the whole kid thing and stick with a dog. At least no family members were offended when we settled on “Boobaloo“. Now, I’m just kidding but it really seems like naming your child is the biggest decision you are likely to make next to who you want to marry and where you buy your first home.
After giving this some thought, I think I have a few guidelines for naming your baby:
1. Please avoid the “hot”name this year. Remember some of the names of kids in the 1970’s? Enough said.
2. Remember the child has to live with whatever name you give him/her. So please take the time to envision what it will be like when that child is called upon in fifth-grade Algebra in the year 2019 – and if you aren’t laughing, then go with the name.
3. Don’t try to be hip. “Suri” may be great right now for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but when “Suri” confronts this pair when she becomes a college senior and asks “What were you thinking?” it’s not going to pretty.
4. Finally, Mike and Kerri, I have been told that “Andrew” is a great name for a boy. Timeless.